Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Waiting



"Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him;
do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way,
by the man who carries out evil plans." ~ Psalm 37:7


I haven't posted an adoption update for a while, so I thought I would update you that there's nothing to update you on:):)  At least it feels that way sometimes.  We are in the waiting period right now and sometimes it is tempting to believe that nothing is actually happening.  And although that can actually be true, there's so much to learn while you wait.  I was prompted to write this post as an encouragement that it is possible to wait well.  Whether that's an adoption process or some other kind of waiting, it is possible.


The crazy thing about being in an adoption process and entering a season of waiting is you can actually forget you're adopting.  Well, at least I can.  And even typing that out sounds really horrible, but I guess the fact that we have four kids home was my excuse.  God has been pretty amazing and merciful, though, to gently remind me that this approach of apathetically standing by is probably not the best one to take.  A couple weeks ago I was just struck with the reminder that adoption is war.  It is one of the biggest spiritual battles that takes place, if you can even rank spiritual battles.  The enemy does not want to give hope to the hopeless, a family to the orphan, chains to be broken, or eternal destinies to be changed through adoption.  He would like nothing more than to keep our kids fatherless.  He does not want our boys or any other orphan waiting for their forever family to actually be home.  And he certainly doesn't want them in a believing home where their eternal destiny can be changed.  He wages war on adoption but in Ephesians 6 God already told us this was happening and gave us the full armor that we should be putting on every day.


The other reason that I personally can become apathetic in this wait is because of fear.  If I keep all this at a distance and just go through the motions of this adoption without entering into who our boys are, their faces, their personalities, their ideas, their gifts, their talents, then I can't get hurt if something horrible were to happen and this adoption fell through.  That's just not even truth.  Which is ridiculous because God already taught me this lesson when we said yes to foster care.  Entering into the hard places is exactly where God wants us.  And this fear is also dismissing the confirmations God has given us along the way.


The other awesome thing in our adoption journey that I know is not the typical scenario is our boys are in an amazing place.  They have people taking care of them that love them, nurture them, feed them, clothe them and send them to school.  So I don't worry or fear that their physical lives are in danger.  There was a time in their life this was not the case but before God even revealed to us we were their family, He rescued them from hopelessness and placed them in the Mission Center where they are being well cared for until they get to come home.  But the Mission Center was never intended to be a permanent place for these kids to grow up in.  So all that to say, this is how God has met us in a place of waiting and called us into an active and offensive wait, rather than an apathetic stand by and do nothing kind of wait, which I had been doing for a short period of time.



The last couple months we have received weekly updates from our boys on what their week has been like and pictures of what they've been up to.  All this is possible because in August, Acts 2 Collective sent over two recent graduates from Drake University to teach and serve the Kingdom Cares Community School, which is literally right outside the front door of the Mission Center.  You can read all about it at www.kccschool.blogspot.com.    Mary and Anna are doing amazing things there and we are beyond grateful for them helping to bridge the gap for our family with our boys.  You can also read little bios of each kid at the Mission Center and for now you'll just have to guess which kiddos are ours;).  We are also able to send updates to the boys on what we did each week and pictures of our kids.  I cannot tell you how, even in a few weeks, this has helped our family.  I understand this is SO RARE in an international adoption and I am very grateful for it.


I'm also happy to say that there is no longer a single day that goes by that I forget we're in an adoption process.  Their lives and this battle we are in for them is worth me not being apathetic to the process.   


At the beginning of our adoption, when I wrote out the initial blog post explaining how we got to this point, I said the two words that would lead us through were "peace" and "joy".  That sounded real nice but it turns out those two words take practice.  Daily practice.  Daily renewing your mind.  Daily reminding yourself of the promises God has proclaimed.  Daily surrendering your plan to His.  DAILY.  You aren't automatically filled with either one.  However, those two words are exactly what have kept us steady in this process so far.  Joy comes from a heart of thanksgiving (thank you Ann Voskamp) and it's a daily practice of recognizing and naming the things in our life we are thankful for.  Peace comes from the source, God Himself.  He gives "peace that surpasses understanding".  That also comes from daily being in the Word and reminding myself every day that the source of peace lives in me and no good will come from worrying and figuring out the practicals of when/where/how the boys will come home.


The last thing that has helped me so much is those that have gone before us.  God's faithfulness has played out in adoption time after time after time.  I cannot tell you how many lessons I have learned from the families that have gone on this journey of international and domestic adoption before us.  The Sullivan, Van Loo, Mahlstadt, Paullus, Wulfekuhle, Crawford, Haan, Lee, Christiansen, Carlisle, Stevenson, and Witt families (along with others I don't personally know) have taught me endless lessons on the very subject of waiting and the intense warfare that goes on in adoption.  I pray that this post doesn't come across like waiting isn't hard.  It really is hard to have your kids half way across the world and every single step of the process is completely, 100% out of your control.  Oh and don't forget you pay people thousands of dollars just trusting that they're actually doing what they say they're going to do with the money.  It's not easy BUT I do want to encourage anyone reading this either in the process or about to begin that when you hit seasons of waiting, it IS possible to wait well.  It takes hard work and a continual, daily renewal of your mind to fix yourself on truth.  There are definitely days where I text my people crying out for prayer because I'm having a bad day of waiting and I need prayer.  But because of all the reasons I've written about, those days are few and far between.  As a Christian, I am not a slave to sin.  I am a slave to righteousness.  I am free.  Those truths mean that I can walk this out in obedience relying heavily on the promises God has given in His Word.  I am boasting in what He has already done, not in what I'm doing.  I am not a slave to fear or worry any longer.  He loves those boys far more than I could ever love them.  He works all things together for good for those who love Him.  He does far more than I could ever ask of, dream of or imagine.  He already knows when they'll be home and every single detail from here until then.  He has already proven to be trustworthy.  And on those truths is where I will fix my mind.  Our waiting is far from over and I'm sure God has a lot more in store to teach me on what it means to wait well, but I am so thankful for His promises.


"Be strong and courageous; don’t be terrified or afraid of them. For it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you.” ~Deuteronomy 31:6


"I say: The Lord is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him.  The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him.  It is good to wait quietly for deliverance from the LORD." ~ Lamentations 3:24-26





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